The Plain Funeral Planner, by Edwin Garrow

Arrange a funeral without being oversold, and know your rights before you sit down.

Illustration of Edwin Garrow, a silver-haired man in a dark suit, at a wooden desk beside The Plain Funeral Planner shown as a book. The planner is a digital PDF.
Digital PDF

67 pages. 39 official sources. Digital PDF. Nothing ships.

Get the planner, $27

For people over 55 planning their own arrangements, and for sons and daughters arranging a parent’s. What federal law lets you refuse, what things cost, what to say, and pages to write your wishes on.

Instant download through Gumroad, also emailed. 30-day guarantee.

Illustration of Edwin Garrow in a dark three-piece suit, sitting in an armchair by a window with a bookcase behind him.
Hello from Edwin

Most families meet the price list for the first time on the worst day of their lives.

I’m Edwin Garrow. In my videos I go through, step by step, what is done after a death and why. The question I get most is a different one: how do you arrange a funeral without being talked into things?

The answer already exists, and hardly anybody has read it. A federal regulation called the Funeral Rule says a funeral home must give you its prices on the telephone, hand you an itemized price list to keep, and let you buy only what you choose. No state requires routine embalming for every death. No law requires a casket for a cremation.

This planner puts those rules, and the ordinary steps around them, in the order you will need them. You don’t have to take my word for any of it. Every rule, amount and telephone number comes from a page you can look up, and the list of all 39 is in the back.

Who it is for

Three kinds of reader, and where each one starts.

  • You are planning your own

    You are past 55, in good health or not, and you would like it settled so your family does not have to guess.

    Start at Planning Ahead, page 46, then fill in My Wishes, page 53.

  • You are arranging for a parent

    Your mother or father is elderly or ill, and you will be the one sitting across the desk from the funeral director.

    Start at Your Ten Rights, page 9, and What to Say, page 17.

  • A death has just happened

    You have a day or two, and you have never done this before.

    Go straight to The First 48 Hours, page 33, then The Price Worksheet, page 28.

What it is not

It is written for the United States. It is general information, not legal or financial advice, and it has nothing on wills, probate or taxes beyond who to ask. It lists no local prices, because a price from one county tells you nothing about yours. It gives you the worksheet to collect real ones.

What is inside

67 pages, chapter by chapter.

Before you start

  • The whole book on one page: ten lines, each pointing to its chapterp. 5
  • A note before you start: where the facts come from, and how to use the bookp. 6

Part One: Your Rights

  • The Funeral Rule: your ten rights, each with a sentence to say out loudp. 9
  • Reading the General Price List: the three kinds of charge, line by linep. 12
  • What the law requires, and what it doesn’t: embalming, caskets, vaultsp. 15
  • What to say: on the phone, at the door, in the arrangement room, before you signp. 17

Part Two: The Choices

  • Four kinds of arrangement, and what each one makes you pay forp. 21
  • Burial: the cemetery’s charges, the casket, buying a plot aheadp. 23
  • Cremation: the steps in order, what you need to buy, where the urn restsp. 25
  • The price worksheet: three funeral homes and two cemeteries, side by sidep. 28

Part Three: When a Death Happens

  • The first 48 hours: who to call, what can wait, choosing the funeral homep. 33
  • Documents and death certificates: how many copies, and what else to gatherp. 36
  • Who to tell, in the weeks after: Social Security, banks, debtsp. 39
  • Veterans’ burial benefits: the DD214, national cemeteries, the allowancep. 42

Part Four: Planning Ahead

  • Planning ahead without prepayingp. 46
  • If you prepay: six questions first, and signs to slow downp. 48
  • Telling your family, and naming the person who decidesp. 51
  • My wishes: fill-in pages, ten sections, signed at the endp. 53
  • Where things are: the facts for the death certificate, and every paperp. 59

At the back

  • Words you will hear: 27 trade terms in plain Englishp. 62
  • Who to call: the numbers, and a table for your ownp. 64
  • Where it all came from: 39 sources with their web addressesp. 66
Look inside

Real pages from the planner.

Tap a page to see it bigger.

Page 5, The whole book on one page: ten numbered points, each with the page of the chapter behind it.
The whole book on one page, page 5Ten lines. If you read nothing else, read this.
Page 9, The Funeral Rule: your ten rights, a table with the right, what the Rule says and what to say.
Your ten rights, page 9The rule in plain words, and a sentence to say.
Page 17, What to say: short scripts for calling a funeral home and asking for the price list at the door.
What to say, page 17Scripts for the telephone and the arrangement room.
Page 28, The price worksheet: how to use it, and blank tables with columns for funeral homes A, B and C.
The price worksheet, page 28One column for each funeral home.
Page 53, My wishes: fill-in lines for who should make the arrangements, burial or cremation and the cemetery.
My wishes, page 53Pages to fill in by hand and sign.
Where the facts come from

39 sources, and every one has its address printed.

Each chapter ends with the numbers of the sources it used. All of them were read in November 2026. Where a rule changes from state to state, the planner says so and names the office to ask.

SourcePages used

  • Federal Trade Commission12The Funeral Rule, price lists, embalming, caskets, cemeteries, prepaying.
  • Department of Veterans Affairs10National cemeteries, the burial allowance, flags, honors, the DD214.
  • Social Security and USAGov5Reporting a death, the $255 payment, who to notify, death certificates.
  • CDC, National Institute on Aging, EPA, TSA6Vital records, what to do after a death, scattering at sea, flying with an urn.
  • Trade bodies and nonprofits, marked as such6Typical prices, the cremation process, green burial, naming an agent.
Illustration of three sheets of paper side by side on a kitchen table with a pencil, a calculator and a cup of coffee.

The only price figures in the planner are national ones, and each is labeled with who published it. The trade body’s 2023 survey put the middle price of a funeral with a viewing and burial at $8,300, before the cemetery. Your town will differ, which is why the worksheet matters more than the figure.

I won’t tell you this planner will save you a certain sum. I don’t know what you would have spent. It will let you put one funeral home’s prices next to another’s before you agree to anything.

Free sample

The ten rights on one page, for nothing.

Print it and take it to the funeral home, whether you buy the planner or not.

The free one-page card, Your ten rights at the funeral home. The same ten rights are written out as text beside it.
Read the ten rights in big type
  1. Prices by telephone, without giving your name first.“What do you charge for a direct cremation, and what does that include?”
  2. A written, itemized General Price List to keep.“Before we talk, may I have your General Price List to keep?”
  3. Buy only what you want. No package is required.“I’d like to choose item by item, please.”
  4. A casket price list before you see the caskets.“May I see the casket price list first?”
  5. A price list for grave liners and vaults.“Do you have the price list for grave liners and vaults?”
  6. No casket is required for a cremation.“We’d like the alternative container.”
  7. A casket or urn bought elsewhere, with no fee for using it.“We are supplying the casket ourselves.”
  8. Arrangements without embalming.“We do not want embalming. Is refrigeration available?”
  9. An itemized written statement before you pay.“May I have the itemized statement before I sign?”
  10. Any legal or cemetery requirement written on that statement.“Which law or cemetery rule requires this?”

Source: Federal Trade Commission, consumer.ftc.gov, read November 2026.

The free rights card

The one-page rights card, a printable table of ten rights with what to say for each.

One page to print: the ten rights, what the Rule says, and what to say. Digital PDF. No email needed.

Download the free rights card
How it works

Pay once. The planner opens. It stays in your email.

  1. You pay

    One time, through Gumroad, the shop that handles the sale. There is nothing to cancel later.

  2. The planner opens

    Right after you pay, you get a button to your files. Tap it and the planner opens on the phone, tablet or computer in your hand.

  3. It stays in your email

    Gumroad also sends you an email with the same link. Keep that email and you can get the planner back any time, on any device.

Not good with computers?

You don’t have to be. If you can open an email, you can open this. There is nothing to install. Phones, tablets and computers all open a PDF on their own.

The fill-in pages are meant to be printed and written on with a pen. If you have no printer, a library or a copy shop can print them, or a relative can.

The offer

One price, one time, and it’s all digital.

Cover of The Plain Funeral Planner by Edwin Garrow, a digital PDF.

The Plain Funeral Planner

Digital PDF
  • The planner67 pages, US Letter. Your ten rights, the price list line by line, what the law requires, scripts of what to say, burial and cremation, the price worksheet, the first 48 hours, documents, who to tell, veterans’ benefits, planning ahead and prepaying.
  • My Wishes and Where Things AreFill-in pages inside the planner, for your family to use.
  • Print versionThe whole planner on white pages, for your own printer.
  • All 39 sourcesListed in the back with their web addresses, and working links.
  • Free updatesIf the planner changes, you get the new one.
$27One payment. Everything is digital. Nothing ships.

Launch price. It ends soon.

Get the planner, $27

Instant download through Gumroad, also emailed.

Three printed sheets from the pack: a funeral home call sheet, the My Wishes pages and the refrigerator and wallet cards.
Or, with the printable pack

Planner plus the My Wishes and Price Comparison Pack, $37

21 loose sheets on white, each one made to be printed and written on: a call sheet for each of three funeral homes, a side-by-side comparison, a cemetery sheet, an arrangement meeting sheet, a first 48 hours tick sheet, who to tell, the six prepaying questions, My Wishes, Where Things Are, and cards for the refrigerator and the wallet. You choose it at checkout.

Digital PDF

30-day guarantee

Read it and use it. If it’s not for you, ask for your money back within 30 days of buying, through your Gumroad receipt.

A note from Edwin

I can’t promise you a cheaper funeral. I don’t know your town, your family or what you would have chosen without this.

A funeral with a viewing, a good casket and a full church is a fine thing if it is what you want and you can pay for it. This planner is not against any of that. It is against paying for things you were never asked about.

Most funeral directors are decent people who will hand you the price list gladly. The planner is for the day you meet one who doesn’t, and for the family who will be too tired to ask.

Ask for the price list. Take your time. Write it down.

Edwin Garrow

Questions

Before you buy

Is this a printed book?

No. It’s a digital planner, a PDF file, and nothing ships to your house. One picture shows it as a book because that is how it reads, but what you get is files.

You can print it yourself. A print version on white pages comes with it.

Is this legal advice?

No. It is general information, and it says so inside. It tells you what the federal Funeral Rule gives you and what official pages say, and it points you to the office or the attorney to ask when a decision turns on your state’s law or on a large sum.

Does it cover my state?

The Funeral Rule is federal, so the ten rights are the same in every state. Most other rules are state law: time limits, who may sign for a cremation, how prepaid money is protected. The planner tells you each time a rule varies and names the office that can answer for your state. It does not list fifty states’ rules.

Does it give prices for my town?

No. It gives the national middle figures published by the funeral directors’ trade body, and a worksheet for collecting real prices from two or three funeral homes near you. That starts on page 28.

We need a funeral this week. Is it too late?

No. Go straight to The First 48 Hours on page 33, then What to Say on page 17. Those two chapters and the worksheet can be read in under an hour.

Will it open on my phone?

Yes. iPhones, Android phones, tablets and computers all open a PDF with nothing to install. If the type looks small, spread two fingers on the page.

I can’t find my download.

Look in your email for a message from Gumroad. Search for the word Gumroad, and check the junk or spam folder too. If you have more than one email address, check the one you typed when you paid.

The link in that email takes you back to your files, as many times as you need.

Do I need the printable pack?

No. The planner stands on its own, and the wishes pages and the worksheet are inside it. The pack is for people who want loose sheets to print and write on: a call sheet for each funeral home, tick sheets, and cards for the refrigerator and the wallet. With the pack the price is $37, and you choose it at checkout.

Is there a monthly charge?

No. You pay once. Nothing renews and there is nothing to cancel.

Will the price go up?

Yes. $27 is the launch price, and it ends soon.

What if it isn’t for me?

You have a 30-day guarantee. Ask for your money back within 30 days of buying, through your Gumroad receipt.

Questions and refunds are handled through your Gumroad receipt.

Ask for the price list. Take your time. Write it down.

Get the planner, $27

Digital PDF. Nothing ships. 30-day guarantee.

Get the planner, $27